4 Months

Whoa! Talk about needing to update your blog! I haven't made any entries since before Grayson was born. With his birth, the holidays, and Chad returning from deployment, to be honest, updating my blog was the last thing on my mind. I'm not going to make any promises that I'll be able to keep this up on a regular basis because life can be hectic at times, but I'm going to try to do better. 

So like I mentioned...Grayson is here! Chad is home! You may already know all this info, but I'm going to share anyways, because I'm so proud of my new baby boy! Grayson Chadwick(named after his daddy) was born via c-section on 9/20/10 at 8:04 am. He weighed 7lbs 6 oz&was 20.1 inches long. Gavin was almost the exact weight&height(7lbs 12 oz&20.5 inches long). It happened really fast. I'm talking a total of 45 minutes with spinal, getting the baby out, and stitching me back up(sorry if that sounds gross). I was so surprised! My first one was long&painful&one of the worst things I've had to endure. I even was able to stop pain meds, well besides ibuprofen, by the second day. Four months out, I rarely have any pain. The occasional nerve twinge like they are healing but to me that's amazing considering my previous miserable experience.

Grayson had some issues at the beginning and he still has a few but nothing major. When he was born he had fluid on his lungs and wasn't getting enough oxygen. The ob said quite a bit of c-section babies have that issue because they come out so fast. He was put in the level 2 nursery for the first 2 1/2 days. It was sad that I couldn't hold&love on him, but good that I got a little rest. He didn't pass his hearing test at first, so of course I was stressing that one. They tested again, and he passed! Apparently, another problem that isn't too uncommon for babies that have some trouble at first He left the hospital at 6 lbs 14 oz&has had problems gaining weight ever since. We found out he has acid reflux, so that was contributing to the problem. He's on acid medicine and a calorie packed diet now. He's a piglet, but doesn't seem to put on weight except in his head, and gain those inches lol

Daddy got to meet Grayson almost 4 months ago today! Boy, was that the longest darn 7 months! I can say that I am so proud of myself! I learned to be more independent, and that whatever life throws at you, with the support of really great people(thanks to my family and Megan), and a little faith, I can get through anything! Homecoming was one of the happiest days of my life. Chad does so much for our family, but I think he sometimes doesn't realize it. He makes the sacrifices so I can stay home with our babies and watch them grow up. Doesn't get any more honorable than that!

Anyways, this is a long drawn out story to get to what I really wanted to write about in this post. Four months doesn't seem like that long of a time period. However, before you know it 4 years can pass you by and you sit there wondering where time went. Each day I try to spend quality with both boys. I think it's so important to hug&kiss your children. I look at Grayson in awe, and then I look at Gavin, and start to feel mommy guilt. Not so much that I'm not spending time with him now, because I know I am, but I start to question myself...did I do this with you? It's like I want to get that time back with Gavin, but I never will be able. I want him to grow up and see what an awesome people he will become, but at the same time, I'm like please stop growing so fast!! I'm sure this is typical for any mom, but it's what's been on my mind lately. I mean he hasn't even started school yet, and I'm already feeling this way! I don't want to be one of those mom's that calls their kids like 5 times a day when they are 40 years old lol I will just have to continue to treasure every moment I have with my beautiful boys. It is clear, that the boys(all 3 of them) aren't just in my life, but they are my life!